Copyright © 2000—2009 by Dr. John M. Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman.
Distributed under license by The Gottman Institute, Inc.
The Four Horsemen
Read each statement and fill in the appropriate TRUE or FALSE bubble.
WHEN WE DISCUSS OUR RELATIONSHIP ISSUES: Printer Friendly
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TRUE FALSE
|
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| 1. I feel attacked or criticized when we talk about our disagreements. |
m |
m |
|
| 2. I usually feel like my personality is being assaulted. |
m |
m |
|
| 3. In our disputes, at times, I don’t even feel like my partner likes me very much. |
m |
m |
|
| 4. I have to defend myself because the charges against me are so unfair. |
m |
m |
|
| 5. I often feel unappreciated by my partner. |
m |
m |
|
| 6. My feelings and intentions are often misunderstood. |
m |
m |
|
| 7. I don’t feel appreciated for all the good I do in this relationship. |
m |
m |
|
| 8. I often just want to leave the scene of the arguments. |
m |
m |
|
| 9. I get disgusted by all the negativity between us. |
m |
m |
|
| 10. I feel insulted by my partner at times. |
m |
m |
|
| 11. I sometimes just clam up and become quiet. |
m |
m |
|
| 12. I can get mean and insulting in our disputes. |
m |
m |
|
| 13. I feel basically disrespected. |
m |
m |
|
| 14. Many of our issues are just not my problem. |
m |
m |
|
| 15. The way we talk makes me want to just withdraw from the whole relationship. |
m |
m |
|
| 16. I think to myself, “Who needs all this conflict?” |
m |
m |
|
| 17. My partner never really changes. |
m |
m |
|
| 18. Our problems have made me feel desperate at times. |
m |
m |
|
| 19. My partner doesn’t face issues responsibly and maturely. |
m |
m |
|
| 20. I try to point out flaws in my partner’s personality that need improvement. |
m |
m |
|
